Not Known
by SBlackzgurl62442
Summary: This Is a story from Ginny's POV speaking about her youth experiences from much later in her life.It is mostly having to do with her stay at number 12 and companionship with Sirius. Now Completed...
1. Childhood

**Childhood**

* * *

I suppose while growing up, I was always living on the wilder side of things, what with six older brothers and all. I most certainly wasn't as girly as Percy was anyway. I was always in the footsteps of my older brothers. I disappear for days at a time to go on adventures with them. We spent our days racing broomsticks, and playing tricks on friends, but as I grew older and they went away to Hogwarts each year I longed to join them on their new adventures at school.

For so long my life had been uncomplicated. Nothing really changed in me until the summer that I met _Harry_.

What can I say, he was the hero, dark hair, and breath taking eyes. He was my first crush, but when summer went so did life as I had known it for so long. It was time for me to start my first year at school. Over that year I got caught up in the situation of Voldemort's diary and my hero Harry came to my rescue, only to cause me to sink into a deeper crush on him and more pain.

My second year went buy without much interaction with my hero, but I still feared for him because the convict Sirius Black was out to get him and I had to watch from afar. The number of nights I remember waking in sweat and tears after dreaming the worst are countless, but in the end the whole Sirius thing blew over as well.

In my third year, Harry was made school champion and I feared for him just as much as I had the previous year. I had the chance to go with him to the Yule Ball, but couldn't because just hours before I had told Neville that I would accompany him, I was utterly devastated. I suppose it was out of distress and a need to be seen that I got together with Michael.

That was the summer however that I would find love from another, love that I would never dream possible, love that I would cherish forever. A love that will never end.

* * *

_A/N: This ch. is rather short but its more like an intro it will get longer trust me…_


	2. A New Place

**A New Place**

* * *

It was a summer of discovery, Voldemort was back and Sirius Black was supposedly innocent.

We were hardly home for a week when mum and dad told us that we would be spending the rest of break at the order headquarters. The order of what and where they wouldn't say. So we waited impatiently for two days pestering them for information. Finally we left in the dead of night, so that we wouldn't be seen. We had to travel by muggle taxi so the trip there was rather slow.

When we finally arrived, it was a dark street with run down houses. No one spoke, mum and dad seemed to be waiting alertly for something. Suddenly Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts, himself appeared before us.

"Good evening everyone," he greeted us with a warm smile and glowing eyes that we all knew so well.

He then handed each of us a small scrap of paper that read, "The Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London."

Those word...oh, those words. They are still in my mind as if it had just happened yesterday and when the house appeared, I will never forget the nervousness that appeared within me, I still do not understand why I had these feelings. Maybe I was feeling what was to come.

We entered and were told not to make a sound. The house was rather dark and creepy. It had a sense of grimness and evil about it. We left our possessions at the entrance and presided to follow Dumbledore down the steps into the dimly lit kitchen.

Dumbledore then invited us to all sit around the very large table and that's when it happened. I had just taken the last seat at the end of the table, when I noticed another presents among us. He was seated at the head of the table. His shoulder length hair fell over his face in a neat sort of way. The look on his face was pure amusement. He was _Sirius Black._

All of the Weasley's were looking at him with different expressions on their faces. Ron had a smile on his face and had just greeted Sirius like an old friend. Mum and dad had done the same. As for Fred and George they had gone strait up to him and said, "Pleasure to meet ya Sirius mate," and each shook his hand. As for me, I was just taking it all in.

Dumbledore was seated at the edge of the table next to Sirius. He went into a long explanation about the order and so on, while not giving away much. I on the other hand had my own problems to think about.

When all of a sudden, I heard mum saying, "Ginny, oh you must be so tired dear."

I glanced around the room; everyone except me had risen from the table and were now looking at me. I had gotten lost in my own thoughts.

I quickly rose from my seat and followed the line of people up the stairs and into the hallway in which we had came in. We gathered up our belongings and Sirius showed us each to our rooms.

My room was on the same floor that Ron's was on. I quickly lit a candle to get a better look at the room. There were two beds, which were extravagantly carved from a dark wood. In between them was a nightstand, which had on it a few, yellowing pieces of parchment, and some old books. On the opposite wall was a wardrobe, which matched the beds. At the far end of the room there was a dressing table and chair.

The light from the candle that I had lit flickered oddly, giving the room an extremely eerie look. I walked over; set my trunk at the end of the bed farthest from the door. I then sat heavily down on the bed, only to have a large cloud of dust rise up around me. I coughed vigorously for several minutes.

I tore back the top blanket on the bed only to have more dust fill the air of the room. The sheets on the bed were musty and moth eaten, but there was nothing that I could do about that at the moment. I lay my head on the flat pillow, but was unable to fall asleep.

I knew that in the morning that I would regret not sleeping, but I just couldn't lie there anymore. Perhaps because it was an unknow place, that I had never before been, and didn't know what to expect.

I finally decided that I had had enough. I crept out of my room and carefully down the stairs so that I wouldn't make a sound. I passed through the main hallway and down the steps that led to the kitchen. I pushed open the door and found that I wasn't the only one that couldn't sleep that night.


	3. Sleepless Nights

**Sleepless Nights**

**

* * *

**

It was apparent that I was not the only one awake that night. Sirius was sitting on the other side of the kitchen table looking grim. He looked up sharply in surprise when I pushed open the door.

We stared at each other in surprise for a moment. I was unable to move.

"Well, it looks as though I'm not the only one that can't sleep tonight," he said when he finally spoke.

I nodded my head at the floor unable to look at him due to my nervousness.

"Why don't you come and sit down," he said.

I slowly walked over to the table, not looking up, but able to feel his dark eyes on me the whole time.

I sat down across from him looking up enough to just catch a glance at his half empty firewhisky bottle.

And then he spoke, in his voice was the sound of great kindness, "Do you was a butterbeer?" he asked.

I finally looked up and our eyes met. A feeling went through me, one that I had never felt before in my life, one that I had not even felt around Harry, a feeling of great passion and wanting.

I nodded my head and he reached down for his wand and summoned the butterbeer from the cabinet. It landed gently on the table in front of him.

He then reached down and popped off the cap, and slid the bottle in front of me. He then raised his own bottle of firewhisky and said, "Cheers."

I raised my butterbeer in return and we both took a drink. It gave me a warm conforting feeling inside.

We took a few more sips after that in awkward silence before Sirius asked, "So what year in school are you in anyway?"

I felt myself going red like a child, feeling incredibly aware of my youth, my small chest and my young face, I wanted to lie but he would find out the from someone eventually. So I replied with every bit of truth, "I'll be starting my fourth year."

"Is that it," he stated rather then asked, "You seem to be older."

I didn't know if he was just saying that because he saw my embarrassment or if he was being truthful.

So I responded with, "Yes well I'm cleverer then most people my age and have more experience."

I hadn't meant to say the last part. It was just an after thought meant only for myself. I was beginning to go red, and praying that he would think nothing of it, but to my horror he did.

He asked with eyebrows raised, "Experience?"

"Umm… yes," I muttered losing what little confidence that I had left in myself.

"In what?" he asked looking slightly amused.

"Umm… well you know things… well not things just I don't know just everything, it's not like it sounded," I said trying not to make a bigger idiot of myself.

I was relieved when he didn't press the matter just smiled and said, "Well we should all have experience."

I just nodded again not knowing what to say.

He then spoke again, "Do you like dogs?" he asked.

"Oh yes I love dogs, mum would never let us have one of course, says they're to messy, be like having another Fred or George," I told him.

His eyes lit as I spoke. When I finished he stood from his seat and before my eyes he did something that I had only ever seen professor McGonagall do. He changed into an animal, a great, black dog. He stood on his back legs, with his front ones in the air, and just as fast as he had changed he was back to his original form of a man. There he was standing in front of me with a great smile on his face and his hair neatly falling over his face.

I whispered, "Wow, you're an animagus."

"Yup," he chuckled, brushing the hair out of his eyes, and once again took his seat at the table across from me.

After that it was much easier to talk to him. He was kind and interested in what I had to say. We talked for several hours. He told me about his life on the run for the past couple of years and I told him about my life at school. He told me about what would be going on in the weeks to come around the house having to do with the order.

Around five in the morning Sirius finally said, "I think that you should go up to your room, so that your mum doesn't come down and start a fuss about you getting enough sleep."

"Alright," I said with a smile getting up.

"See you in a little while," he said. With that I turned and walked out of the kitchen with a smile playing at the corners of my mouth.

When I reached my room and once again was lying in bed, I found it considerably easier to fall asleep. As soon as I rolled over and put my head down, I drifted off to my own world of dreams.


	4. Worries

**Worries

* * *

**

I awoke to someone talking to me, "Ginny come on mum said to wake you up," it was Ron. I rolled over to find him standing beside my bed.

"Morning Ron," I mumbled.

"Actually its afternoon, you've been asleep for ages, now come on," he said.

"Afternoon?" I questioned.

"Yes, now come," he repeated and walked out.

I quickly dressed putting on a pair of old faded jeans and a light blue top. I tied my hair loosely back, so that several pieces fell across my face.

I then ran down the stairs and into the kitchen to find many people assembled at the table. It was my family along with Mad-Eye Moody, Professor Lupin, and Sirius.

"Oh Ginny, your up, we were just sitting down for lunch," my mother stated as I walked in.

I walked over taking an empty seat on the other side of the table. I was feeling happier then I had been in a while for some strange reason.

Once everyone had eaten, my mother announced that we would have to start to prepare the house to be suitable for living conditions.

"Today we must start to straiten this place up, and since we will be eating and hosting meetings in this kitchen it will be our first project," she spoke looking at all of us.

"Yes Molly we would love to help but Mad-Eye and I really should get going," Lupin cut in rising from the table.

"Oh yes of course Remus," my mother replied.

And so that was how it went, we spent the rest of the day cleaning out the kitchen.

While cleaning out all the cupboards and cabinets we found items that I didn't even know could exist in a household. I found some werewolf's blood in a jug, Ron found some vampire teeth, and to everyone's horror Sirius found muggle fingernails.

The rest of the week went on like this. We spent all of our time cleaning out the kitchen. It was a retched job, but mum insisted that it had to be done.

It was Sunday morning, the day of Hermione's arrival. Ron was very excited about her coming to stay for the rest of the summer.

When she arrived with Professor Lupin, she was ecstatic to see us all.

She gave each one of us a hug and I just couldn't help but say, "All Ron has done is talk about you arriving all day."

Ron turned a deep shade of red yelling, "I have not Ginny, besides you can never keep it shut about Harry."

I couldn't believe that he had brought up the subject of my former crush and as if to further embarrass me, my whole family began to laugh.

I turned and ran from the room, up the stairs, and past the level in which my room was located because that was the first place someone would look if they wanted to find me.

I found myself in a room on the third floor. From the looks, it was some form of sitting room with couches and such. I walked over and seated myself on a chair next to one of the windows.

A light summer shower was taking place outside. I sat there for a long time, just starring out the window, watching the raindrops dance across the glass of the window.

I was lost in my own thoughts, when a floorboard behind me gave a soft creak that brought me back to reality. I turned quickly and to my great surprise found Sirius only inches away. I drew in a deep breath of surprise.

"Sorry to disturb you," he said apologetically.

"No, it's quite alright," I told him.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Oh, yes I just needed some time to think," I said.

"Yes, Ron was rather harsh to you."

"Yeah," I said looking down.

"Don't worry about it though," he said and did something that amazed me.

He reached down and lifted my chin up so that he could see my eyes. The spot on my face that he touched sent a tingling feeling strait down to the tip of my toes and I felt it all over. It filled me with warmth and energy. It was only for a short moment that his hand had rested there but I could still feel him, as if his hand was still there long after he had moved away.

Then, I don't know why, but I felt it in my heart that I had to tell him, "You know I don't have a crush on Harry, I used to but I don't anymore."

I swear as I said that his eyes the eyes that had grown sad in Azkaban lit for a split second. He then gave a weak smile and said, "It would be okay even if you still did."

"But the fact is that I don't, I'm not a silly little girl anymore with a dumb crush on the hero, lets just say that I'm into a new style these days," I told him.

"What sort of _new_ style?" he questioned with a grin playing at his lips.

"Umm… the sort of style that mum would never approve of," I said with a sneaky smile.

"Would I approve?" he dared to ask.

"I would like to think so but…" I trailed off.

"But?" he questioned.

"I'm not so sure yet," I told him amazed at my own need to be daring.

"Will you find out soon?" he asked with mock concern.

"Perhaps," I simply said.

"Well until then, we should really get back down stairs before someone misses us," with that he held out his hand to me. At first I was reluctant to take it, would this be _too_ daring I thought to myself, no just a friendly jester. So with that decided I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet. We walked out of the room together feeling no worries at all, just strangely content with the whole situation.


	5. Future Thoughts

**Future Thoughts

* * *

**

My weeks at Grimmauld Place flew by. After Harry had been attacked everyone was much busier. I rarely saw Sirius, the one person I knew that I could confide in. Though he never left the house he was distant and always in meetings having to do with the order. I once again slipped into my state of loneliness and self-pity.

It had been three days after Harry's arrival that I finally had my chance to speak with Sirius alone.

I had taken a break from cleaning and in order to avoid my mother I had snuck into Buckbeak's room so that I would not be found.

As I lied on the large bed the door opened to reveal Sirius with a large bag of dead rats slung over his shoulder.

"Oh Ginny, I didn't know that you were up here," he said with a glitter in his dark eyes.

"I wasn't expecting you either," I said with a smile.

He shut the door behind him and proceeded to sit next to me on the bed, throwing the sack of rats over to Buckbeak.

"I haven't talked with you in a while," he said stating the obvious.

"And whose fault is that?" I said in return knowing that he hadn't meant anything by his comment but, I was still frustrated.

"Yes well we've all been busy," he explained.

"Sure we have," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"What's wrong?" he questioned.

"It's nothing important," I said.

"Sure it is," he returned.

"Well this may sound a bit stupid but, do you ever get lonely?" I asked.

"Of course I do, doesn't everyone?" he replied.

"Well yes, I suppose that you're right about that but, do you ever feel lonely when you are not alone? Like take me for instance, I'm here in this house with all of these people, my family, the Order, we always have something going on and yet it all seems so empty. It's like I'm watching from a window that no one really pays attention to."

"I'm paying attention to you right now," Sirius said with a sort understanding in his eyes.

This made me smile, "Yes and I don't know what I would do if we didn't have these conversations."

"I enjoy them too," he said, then continued, "Now cheer up we still have lots of work to do today," and then he bent down and kissed the top of my head.

He left the room and I just sat there for a bit reliving the past moment. When I finally came around I went through the rest of the day in a form of a daze but, no one seemed to notice, and for once I didn't care.

The summer ended as quickly as in had come. I was excited to be going back to school but, that was only because I was in need in a change of scenery.

I knew that once I was back at school I would not be able to see Sirius and that letters would be minimal due to security measures.

It was the night before our return to Hogwarts and I had waited all week for Sirius to pull me aside so that we could say our good-byes but, it never came. So I decided to go and search him out myself.

The house was silent. Mum had insisted that we all go to bed early so that we would be in top shape for the journey back to school, whatever that meant. I mean it's not like anyone was really asleep, just pretending so that they wouldn't have to hear her yell.

I walked up the dark staircase to the floor above my room that I shared with Hermione, it was the floor in which Sirius' room was located.

I knocked lightly on the door so that no one would hear. I only had to wait a moment before he appeared. In the dark I could see only the outline of his body.

"Is that you Ginny?" he asked in a low tone but, it was almost as though he were expecting me.

I don't know why but, I started to blush, "Um…yes, sorry to bother you Sirius but can we talk?" I whispered.

"Sure come on in," he said.

After I entered he closed the door and it became completely dark. I heard him walk across the room and the next moment the light of a single candle washed over the room. It was dim and flickered oddly but, I was now able to see him.

He must have been in bed when I had knocked because his hair was messy, in a good way and he wasn't wearing a shirt, he had on only a pair of tight fitting boxer shorts. I could see the tone muscles throughout his upper body. Then I realized that I was staring. Hopping that he hadn't noticed, I asked, "Were you asleep?"

"Of course not," he said.

"Good, I didn't wake you then?" I asked making light conversation.

"Nope actually I was hopping to talk to you before you left tomorrow," he said.

"Really?" I said with surprise.

"Yes, after all I won't be seeing you again until Christmas," he sighed.

"Must you remind me?" I asked.

"Sorry I don't want to think about it either, after all you are the only one that seems to enjoy my presents in this dump." He said, and then he walked over to his bed, and lied down looking up at me. Then he motioned for me to come over as well.

At first I sat on the edge of the bed looking down at him then I thought the hell with it. I lied down next to him. We both lied there staring up at the ceiling.

We lied there in a comfortable silence for a while then I asked, "Do you ever think about the future?"

"The _future_?" he questioned.

"Yeah, you know about after this whole Voldemort business is over and we clear your name" I said.

"We?" he asked.

I blushed amazed at the way that he noticed I said _we._

"Yes, we," I insisted.

"I like that," was all that he said.

"So do you?" I asked.

"Do I what?" he returned, though I knew that he was avoiding the question so I rolled onto my side, propping my head up on my arm.

"Think about the future, freedom, _happiness_?" I asked.

He hesitated before looking me in the eyes, I felt as though he could see into my soul, "Yes" he said.

I sighed and rolled over onto my back once again and muttered, "Me too."

I must had fallen asleep because the next thing that I knew I was being shaken awake by Sirius.

"Ginny wake up," he hissed urgently.

I rolled over muttering, "Will you stop."

"Its morning," he said with a note of panic in his voice.

Then it clicked in my mind, I wasn't in my room at all, I was, "Oh my God," I yelled, sitting up quickly in panic.

"Shhh…someone will hear," he said.

I was still in Sirius' bed, we had fallen asleep talking, and although it had been purely innocent if someone were to see me walking out of his room in my pajamas this early in the morning, I hate to even think about it.

"I think it is still a bit early, I just wanted to make sure you get back without being seen," as soon as the words left his mouth we could hear my mother yelling, "Time to wake up everyone."

I felt my stomach drop.

"Don't worry, I'll distract her," he said.

"How will I know when it is all clear?" I asked.

"Trust me you'll know," he said and with that he slipped out of the room.

No more then a minute after he left I heard the shriek of his horrible mother knowing that was my cue, I quickly left the room.


	6. Months Later

**3 ½ Months Later**

**

* * *

**

We would stay at Grimmauld Place over Christmas because of the attack on my father. I was scared. We all were, there was no doubt about that but, it was all made better by the fact that I knew that I could count on Sirius the moment that I needed him.

We had our conversations about our worries and thoughts and as the days went by I could feel both of us growing closer with each passing moment. I felt safe when I was with him, something that I had not felt since I was a child but, that was only the beginning, the true magic didn't even start until Christmas night.

I had waited all day to give Sirius his present. I knew that he would like it because I did. The time had finally come, I sat waiting in his room knowing that he would be there just as soon as he finished with the Order meeting that was taking place down stairs. I knew somehow that it involved the situation with my dad but, I was too anxious in awaiting Sirius' arrival to care all that much.

I was pacing the room, hoping that he would arrive soon. Then the door opened and I stopped in my tracks. I turned to see him standing there, "Happy Christmas, Sirius," I said with joy.

His face broke with a huge grin, "I have been waiting all day to hear you say that," he said.

"And I have been waiting all day to say it to you," I told him.

He closed the door and walked over to me, "I have something for you," I said.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes, I would have given it to you earlier but, I wanted you to open it with me," I explained.

"I'm glad that you did so I can give you your gift as well," he said.

I smiled, then took a small package from my pocket and handed it to him.

He walked over and took a seat on the bed. He quickly unwrapped it. Then he slowly lifted the lid off of the box and pulled out a small glass bottle, it was filled with purple and blue mist.

"What is it?" he questioned looking at me.

I had been waiting for him to ask and no sooner then the words had left his mouth I leapt to a lengthy explanation, "Well I know how you hate being stuck in the old house all day so I found this spell when I was doing some charms homework in the library. You see whenever you want a change in the scenery you simply hold the bottle in both hands and think of someplace better, for example the beach and the room will take the form of it."

"Shall we give it a try then?" he asked.

"Yes!" I said extremely excited.

I watched him take the bottle in his hand and the next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of the beach. It was so real, I could feel the fresh, cool ocean air, feel the warm sun on my face, and see miles of blue water in front of me. I was even standing in the sand.

"This is amazing Ginny," he said in compete awe.

I had never before seen him so happy, "I'm glad that you like it," I said feeling a blush creep up my face.

"I love it," he said.

"Good," I said, just hearing him say that made me feel wonderful like nothing else in the world mattered except for that moment in time.

"Oh let me get you your gift," he said, "How do I return to the normal room?"

"That's easy, all that you have to do is think about the room's original form," I explained.

And just like that the room was back to its gloomy old self. Sirius rushed over to his bed side table, setting down the bottle that I had given him. He began to dig through the top drawer. He then stopped and turned around to face me, "Come hear," he said in a low voice. I felt chills rising up my body.

I slowly walked over to him and stared at him, into his brown eyes, "hold out your hand," he said.

I did and he placed his closed fist on my palm and opened his fingers. He lifted his hand away and I saw in my hand a shinny necklace. I held it up and saw that it had a silver paw print charm on it.

"Wow it's absolutely lovely," I gasped.

"Isn't it?" he said, "Its white gold."

I stuttered, "Sirius…I…I don't know what to say."

"Say nothing, just let me put it on you," he said.

I handed it to him and lifted my hair so that he could put it on me.

"How did you get it? You can't leave the house," I said.

"You _are_ talking to the wizard who escaped from Azkaban, lets just say I have my ways," he said.

"Well thank you it truly is beautiful," I muttered looking into his eyes.

"I wanted to get something that would comfort you when you felt alone, so that when you are away it will remind you that I will always be here for you no matter what may happen," he said.

I couldn't help myself; everything he had just said had touched me deep down, tears began to slide down my face, never before had I felt so cared about by anyone outside of my family. I wrapped my arms around him, I couldn't help it. In that moment nothing else mattered to me. I was happy.

At first he was tense under my arms as though he weren't sure how to respond. Then I felt his arms wrap around me in turn.

We stood for a few moments before I turned away and said wiping tears form my eyes, "I best be going, good-night Sirius and Happy Christmas it was the best that I have had in a long time."

"Me too," he said.


	7. The Moment

**The Moment

* * *

**

The next morning at breakfast I kept trying to catch Sirius' eye but it seemed as though he were purposely avoiding me, looking everywhere and at everyone but me.

When he had finally finished eating the last of his eggs and toast and excused himself from the table, I quickly followed excusing myself saying that I had to get some reading done before the end of the break or Snape would have my throat when we returned to school.

Five minutes later I was bursting into Sirius' room yelling, "Honestly what the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked from his bed, which he was sitting on.

I slammed the door shut and walked over to him, "Don't you dare play stupid with me Sirius Black, you wouldn't so much as look at me all through morning breakfast."

"What are you talking about?" he repeated.

"Everything was fine last night, no not fine, wonderful, and now I just don't know what is wrong," I fired at him full of rage.

"Fine Ginny you want the truth; I'll give it to you. Keep in mind though this is only because you demanded it," he said with hurt in his eyes then continued, "I was happy for the first time in a long time last night, truly happy, and that scares me," he said.

"Why would that scare you?" I asked him.

"Because …because I was happy because of you, you made me happy" he sighed.

"I don't see how that is bad," I said.

"Ginny how could you not?" he asked with a desperate look in his eye.

"Because I don't!" I shouted.

"I'm twenty years older then you, that's why it scares me," he said looking extremely grim.

"So what does that have to do with anything? What are you some sort of muggle?" I demanded.

"How could you say that?" he asked.

"I guess I can say that because I'm a witch and you are a wizard. Plenty of witches and wizards have a lot bigger age differences then us because we do tend to live a lot longer then the common muggle and age may seem like a big deal when we are young but its not," I explained to him.

"I see what you are saying, but still," he argued.

"Sirius you think that I haven't thought of the same things that you have? I have and all of that just doesn't matter!" I shouted.

"Ginny…" he said.

"You know what Sirius when you have sorted out your thoughts and have pulled your act together come find me, you know where to look," and with that I stormed out of the room slamming the door shut behind me.

For the days after my disagreement with Sirius everyone noticed a definite change in behavior from him. He would hide away for hours at a time, but I wasn't about to seek him out, he could talk to me if he really wanted to, I wasn't avoiding anyone.

That night came when I was sitting alone in the kitchen late one night. He entered the kitchen just like I had the day that I met him, it reminded me so much of my first night in Grimmauld Place that past summer, but that now seemed as though it had happened years ago. I had grown so much since that day.

"Oh hello Ginny," he said with a note of surprise in his voice.

"Hi," I replied coolly.

"Let's talk," he said.

"Now?" I asked as though he were out of his mind.

"Yes," he replied simply.

"Okay talk," I said.

"Not here," he hissed as though I was mad to even consider talking in such an open place.

"Then were?" I asked harshly.

"Upstairs," he said.

"_Where_ upstairs?" I asked feeling annoyed.

"Second floor, last door on the left," he said, then left the room as quickly as he had come.

I sat there at the table contemplating on how I should go about the situation with Sirius. Finally I rose from the table deciding I would just handle it as it came.

I put my hand on the door knob. I had never been in this room of the house before. Not knowing what to expect I slowly opened the door.

It was a medium sized room that looked as though it had been used as some sort of an office. To my right was a large bookshelf filled with many volumes and next to the shelf was a desk. Directly across from me was a fireplace, with glowing embers of a fire that had long died down.

I closed the door behind me seeing that I was alone.

"This is the library," said a mummer from the far corner. I nearly jumped three feet in the air.

"Bloody hell, I didn't see you there," I shouted, focusing my eyes on the dark side of the room, sitting shadowed by the dark was Sirius sitting on a large sofa looking mysterious in the strange shadows given off my the orange embers.

He got up and walked passed me casting a silencing charm on the door, "You'll wake the entire house," he said.

"Well you shouldn't have frightened me so," I replied coolly.

"I suppose your right," he said with a smirk.

"But I can't pretend that it wasn't enjoyable to watch," he smirked.

"Is this conversation going somewhere or are you just annoying me for your own entertainment?" I asked him.

"You told me to talk to you once I had gotten my thoughts together and I have."

"And?" I asked.

He let out a loud sigh running his hand through his hair, "And this may take a while so please come and sit down."

"Fine," I said walking over to the couch.

I sat down on one end of the couch and he on the other. I could only see the outline of his body but, I knew he was facing me.

"Ginny…" he started.

"Yes?" I asked.

He let out a loud sigh before continuing, "Ginny I'm not mad at you, only myself."

"But why?" I questioned.

"He sighed yet again," Because I allowed myself to care for you and through the months I have grown fonder of you and I don't want you to end up hurt because of that."

I let out a wicked laugh, "Honestly Sirius how could you be so self-centered."

"I'm not, I'm only thinking about you," he argued.

"I am perfectly able to decide what I want to do; you think that I haven't thought about all of that too, well I have. All of that doesn't matter to me though, I mean look at it my way, for months I have been trying to figure out if this was just some stupid school girl crush, I mean it happens to us all even Hermione, whether it is Lockhart or a quidditch star, every girl has that crush, but my point is this isn't some crush that I have on the most notorious convict that ever lived, if it were things would be much different, age doesn't matter in this situation, if it did I wouldn't even think about doing this…" I finished.

"You are wise beyond your years Ginny, but we can't possibly continue with this, I'm a convict as you clearly realize, and you're well you, you have your family, friends, and school," he said sadly.

"Who cares about all that lets just live in the moment for all we know we could all end up dead tomorrow now that you know who is back."

"Don't talk like that," he said.

"It's the reality," I said firmly.

"Reality or not I could not bear to loose you."

"Nor I you," I responded, "So why do you keep pushing me away from you?"

"Because this can't happen," he stated firmly.

"Then you are not the person I thought you were," I sighed.

"What do you mean?" he asked taken aback.

"The Sirius I thought you were would allow me to do this," and I kissed him…I felt him relax under my lips and whisper in a ruff voice, "Ginny."

I quickly covered his lips again with my own before pulling away, "So?" I asked.

"Ginny, we can't," he sighed running his hand through his hair, "no matter how much we both want to, we just can't."

"I know," I sighed, "I'm done." I could see all the pain that I felt reflecting right back at me from within his haunted eyes and knew that mine looked just the same to him.

A single tear fell down my cheek and he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck, taking in his sent of firewhisky and a warm smell that I could not quite decide what it was. He held me, it felt so good to be held by him and I knew that I must leave lest we both fall into temptation. I stood up and looked at him, bent down kissed him on his cheek and whispered, "I love you Sirius."

"I love you too Gin," and with that I left the room without looking back.


	8. The End

**The End

* * *

**

The next morning we awoke early for the return trip to Hogwarts. I was the first one of kids ready and in the kitchen.

Sirius was sitting at the table in conversation with Lupin and Tonks. My mum was making breakfast and asked, "Are the others almost down?"

"Yes mum," I responded and took a seat next to Tonks.

We ate breakfast and then said hurried good-byes to my mum and Sirius at the door.

When it came my turn to say good-bye to Sirius he held out his hand for me to shake and said, "It was great having you here."

I felt a large lump rise in my throat and was only able to nod, I wanted to through my arms around him, but I realized that in-between our hands was a carefully folded piece of parchment. I gave him a quizzical look and he winked in response.

I had waited until I was alone in my dormitory at Hogwarts to read what he had written me…

_Ginny, _

_I know that we have not known each other long and that you are still very young, but somehow we were brought together. You seem to know me better then anyone else and you have taught me so much in the little time that we have spent together. Soon there will be a time when we can be together, but until that moment comes try to be happy. I will always love you don't you ever forget that._

_Forever yours,_

_Sirius _

_P.S. _

_Do me a favor and look after Harry for me._

Tears dripped down my face as I read his words, why did things have to be so complicated with me. I loved Harry, a boy who didn't return my affection and now Sirius, a man who did, but the situation at hand was so complicated that I couldn't even imagine how we could ever be together in this world.

"I will do anything for you, I promise," I whispered.

Months went by without a word form Sirius or I to him do to the Umbridge situation. Then one day shortly after the Easter Holiday I found Harry in the school library. He expressed to me his need to speak to Sirius. I completely understood his longing and was able to arrange for his meeting. I wish I could have been the one meeting with Sirius, but that would be too risky even for me.

It was now June and exams had ended. My thoughts were full of my summer plans hopefully we would once again be spending it at number twelve, but I was soon interrupted by the muffled shouts of Harry's voice coming from the empty classroom near by.

Luna was also standing at the door that Harry's voice was coming from. So together we entered to find an extremely angry Harry, a scandalized Hermione, and a frightened looking Ron.

Harry tried to get Luna and myself to leave, but I quickly put him in his place. I made a promise that I was going to look after him and that's what I intended to do.

Then when I heard the words, "Sirius is being tortured NOW!" from Harry, my heart sank. I wanted to run to his rescue. So when Hermione said that I could help, I immediately agreed.

Luna and I were made lookouts. I wanted to do more, but knew that I was lucky to be doing this much. So there I stood clutching the pendent that Sirius had given me that I always wore around my neck, suddenly an arm grabbed me, "Look what we have here, the only good looking Weasel " hissed the voice of Warrington and no sooner then he had Neville flew at him knocking him over. I reached for my wand, but a large Slytherin girl knocked it away.

Both Neville and I were struggling all the way into Umbridge's office and were met by a group of Slytherins holding a struggling Ron and Luna.

Once we were all inside the horrid office I continued to struggle not paying close attention to what was going on, Snape came and went ignoring Harry's cryptic message, and then at the mention of the Cruciatus Curse Hermione had lost it or so I had thought, it took me a few moments before I realized that Hermione was a very good actress.

Once Hermione and Harry had left at wand point with Umbridge, the remainder of us took care of the Slytherins. The rest went by in a blur, we flew to London on the invisible thestrals, and found our way to where Harry had said Sirius was being held captive. Sirius wasn't there though when I realized this I knew that it meant that he was either safe or dead, but the death eaters soon revealed that it was all a big trap.

We ran for it through the many mysterious rooms in the department and I soon found myself lying on the floor in the brain room. My ankle throbbed with intense pain. Neville and Harry were the only two of us that were still capable of a fight. They were in the room with the veil, two fifteen year old boys against a group of some of the most feared wizards in the world, Voldemort's death eaters.

Then one of the doors blasted open and there stood Sirius with Lupin, "Sirius!" I gasped with relief.

"Ginny where are the?" he asked urgently.

"That way," I pointed and they raced off.

I could hear the intense duels taking place in the next room over. It was driving me mad not being able to do anything. I tried to get up but couldn't. I heard Harry screaming, "Sirius!"

Panic rose inside of me. Was Sirius alright? Was he hurt? I tried to stand up again but I fell to the floor in pain, my head was spinning, I felt as though I was going to be sick.

Just then that evil Bellatrix Lestrange women came racing through the room closely followed by Harry, "Harry-what?" I began to ask, but he was already gone.

As I lied there wondering what had happened Neville and Professor Lupin came in, "What happened?" I asked immediately.

Lupin look worse then he did after a full moon and Neville looked exhausted.

"Come on Gin, I have strict orders from Dumbledore to get all of his students back to school?" said Lupin.

"What HAPPENED!" I demanded, "I heard Harry yelling for Sirius, where is Sirius? Is he alright?"

Remus looked away and Neville shook his head.

"Is he hurt?" I asked knowing full well something awful had happened, but by delaying the final answer to the question, I was delaying the pain that I knew would come along with it.

Remus looked at me and I felt tears running down my face, I knew that Sirius was gone.

We would never again sit talking together, we would never argue again, I would never laugh as I saw him turn into Snuffles, all of our hopes about the future and one together were gone.

I couldn't let Neville and Remus see me lose control as far as they were concerned the relationship that Sirius and I shared never even existed.

None the less Neville looked down at me sitting on the floor and asked, "Ginny are you alright?"

I nodded and choked, "It's just my ankle it…it just hurts so much," but I wasn't talking about my ankle so much as I was my heart.

Neville and Remus gathered everyone else up and then we all took the portkey that Remus had made. Each one of us was hanging onto Ron, Hermione, and Luna with our free hand.

We were all transported to the Hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey healed me and Neville up first because we had the simplest injuries.

I walked out of the Wing alone because Neville had fallen asleep on an empty bed almost immediately after being healed. I was grateful; I needed to be alone, but halfway down the corridor stood Professor Lupin. He looked up as I approached. We looked at each other for a moment not saying anything at all then he said, "Are you going to be alright?"

I nodded and said, "Are you?"

He nodded.

I began to walk away when he said, "Ginny…"

When I looked at him all I received was a knowing look, like he somehow knew the whole story, did he figure it out on his own? Or did Sirius say something to him? Or had it been me that gave it all away? I waited for him to finish his thought then all he said was, "Nothing."

I walked away, but I didn't return to the Gryffindor Tower. I found myself in one of the bathrooms on the fifth floor. I looked up in the mirror and saw myself. At that moment I fell apart. I stood against the wall for support and slowly slid to the ground. I couldn't stand the sound of my own tears, my own thoughts…but there was nothing I could do. I felt so helpless, so trapped. Every encounter that I ever had with Sirius seemed to flash through my mind. I cried…I cried until the tears no longer came.

Eventually I stood up and looked up into the mirror again. I looked like a wreck. My head was pounding and my eyes were swollen.

"Enough," I said out loud. I had shed my tears now it was time to be strong. I wasn't the only one who had lost someone that was important to me, Harry lost the only parental figure that he ever had and Remus had lost another of his best friends. I now had to be there for Harry. So I wiped my tears and walked out of that bathroom leaving in it the need to cry.

So that was how it went over the weeks I would only cry in my own time when no one was around, I was constantly thinking of Sirius, but I hid it well.

During that year I grew up, I now had experience love and death. I will never forget all the times that I shared with Sirius and all that he had given me. Together we had a love that I knew that I could never share with another, but there are other types of love out there. Besides I knew that I would see Sirius again, maybe not in this world, but the next. My love for him is stronger then life and death.

* * *

_A/N: Well there it is THE END... I feel sad because i started this story so long ago...well review and let me know what you think...thank you all so much for reading this it means a lot to me...until next time..._


End file.
